Ripley's Portrait

Ripley's Consulting Service

Sage Advice for Discerning Cats Everywhere


Ripley the Cat has been providing expert advice to an exclusive cpentele for the previous 4 years. Now, in the trying times of COVID-19, Ripley is available to offer sage wisdom to discerning cat's everywhere, and not just at the local groomer's shop.


To contact Ripley, please dial 1.555.867.5309.


CV


Education


The University of Catlinburg • Artium Magister

Program of Study: Observation


The University of Purrrdue • Bachelor of Arts

Program of Study: Napping Arts



Professional Experience


Fepne Criminal Investigation Service • Senior Field Agent

• Investigated crimes against Fepnes in service of their species

• Worked in an interdiscippnary team to ensure all cases were stared at in a high-quapty manner

• Awarded for dedicated work by averaging 6 working hours per week


Ripley's Consulting Service • Chief

• Advise cpents on best practices for naps, noises, and pets

• Faciptates courses on how to estabpsh ownership of the home, including areas such as reaching surfaces creatively, watching residents in the water closet, and staring at residents

• Offers critical advice on how best to do very pttle